Easy. Easy. Fuck I wish it was easy.

So, I am not one to cry foul - I'm sure deep down the world owes nobody anything compared to what it owes to me - I mean, my youth was ruined, my body is scarred, my outlook is generally upbeat, i'm surrounded by crazy kids i get to call my friends and i really do have too much money for one person my age. It's simple.

BUT I WANT MY LIFE TO BE EASY!

How dare i get up in the morning, trollop off to work and do not a hell of a lot compared to a lot of people. How dare i have downtime whilst neglecting certain tasks that have been around for years. How dare i enjoy uni study at night and yoga on mondays and gym time and friends time. and how dare i not enjoy it?

i mean - how dare i enjoy it?

Don't look at me like, it's 10.26pm and there is a part of me that wishes it wasnt this time, in fact it wishes it wasn't anytime. Safe to say, there is a part of me that wishes i wasnt here. but i dont know where i want to be. Someone just stood on the cat, i remember when that would have been plain funny. now its confused funny, because i love the cat so.

Again - something else that isn't easy. Laughing at cats in pain should be easy.

Stupid love. I mean, what, what is it good for? I dont know how to finish it. but one thing is for sure - IT AINT FUCKING EASY. Love for family, friends, partners - mother fucking not easy. Annoying. People are shithouse, lets be honest. I am shithouse and i am a person. so it makes sense to generalise. There are so many people that i wish i was. So many shiney, happy people... I just want to put them all in a massive pot and cook them up.

have a shiney happy soup. for dinner. every night. fountain of youth and glamour. I'd be happy to be ugly then - no pot for me!! pot. thats funny.

my mind is running too fast, so hilariously fast i want to kick someone in the nuts. someone else almost as much as i want to kick me in the nuts! imagine how much complaining i could do if my tackle was all ruined! HILARIOUS!

Done. Sold. time to go sleep in my entirely comfortable and warm bed.
Fuck, i wish things were easy.

Odd. Fuck me, it was odd.

her: so i think i'll be divorced by the time i get back to work tomorrow.

me: ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

her: i mean it, on the weekend he spent three hundred dollars on god knows what.

me: ha, ha, ha, ha.

her: then, i ask him what's for dinner - while i'm at work, and he's at home - and he asks me 'what are you cooking'? Well you know what... Fuck him!

me: ha, ha, ha.

her: I'm going to finish this report - i dont want to go home.

me: ha, ha. oh.

her: i mean, for fuck sake! FOR FUCKS SAKE!

me: oh. i have to get to yoga.

her: maybe i should come to go yoga.

me: do they do it out where you live?

dissapointed ponder.

me: see you in the morning!

me time. you time. down time. blog time.

I have totally not been blogging forever...

But it's fun. And I miss the disgusting amount of self-loving it induces... Hilarious.

This will likely be the last one for 5 months... but i'll chuckle hard when i check back in...

Spuds!

funny

seriously funny television
west wing

From outer space...

Dinner with a guy I have met only once before, my pub, his shout, no music.

me: totally time to get into shape.

guy: yeah?

me: yeah, i'm tired of my jeans looking painted on... i'm going to use you as inspiration... i hope that's okay... you look great.

guy: maybe so, but you got the face

me: what the fuck do you mean by that

me: oh

silence

me: ohhh

me: ohhhh okay

me: thanks

me: i'll get the beer