Easy. Easy. Fuck I wish it was easy.

So, I am not one to cry foul - I'm sure deep down the world owes nobody anything compared to what it owes to me - I mean, my youth was ruined, my body is scarred, my outlook is generally upbeat, i'm surrounded by crazy kids i get to call my friends and i really do have too much money for one person my age. It's simple.

BUT I WANT MY LIFE TO BE EASY!

How dare i get up in the morning, trollop off to work and do not a hell of a lot compared to a lot of people. How dare i have downtime whilst neglecting certain tasks that have been around for years. How dare i enjoy uni study at night and yoga on mondays and gym time and friends time. and how dare i not enjoy it?

i mean - how dare i enjoy it?

Don't look at me like, it's 10.26pm and there is a part of me that wishes it wasnt this time, in fact it wishes it wasn't anytime. Safe to say, there is a part of me that wishes i wasnt here. but i dont know where i want to be. Someone just stood on the cat, i remember when that would have been plain funny. now its confused funny, because i love the cat so.

Again - something else that isn't easy. Laughing at cats in pain should be easy.

Stupid love. I mean, what, what is it good for? I dont know how to finish it. but one thing is for sure - IT AINT FUCKING EASY. Love for family, friends, partners - mother fucking not easy. Annoying. People are shithouse, lets be honest. I am shithouse and i am a person. so it makes sense to generalise. There are so many people that i wish i was. So many shiney, happy people... I just want to put them all in a massive pot and cook them up.

have a shiney happy soup. for dinner. every night. fountain of youth and glamour. I'd be happy to be ugly then - no pot for me!! pot. thats funny.

my mind is running too fast, so hilariously fast i want to kick someone in the nuts. someone else almost as much as i want to kick me in the nuts! imagine how much complaining i could do if my tackle was all ruined! HILARIOUS!

Done. Sold. time to go sleep in my entirely comfortable and warm bed.
Fuck, i wish things were easy.