because...

there is nothing like a man with awesome nuts to make it all seem better...

tell me he did not just do that...

nothing like the class of talking about someone to a caller, when that person is sitting in the next room.

nothing like lowering ones voice, referring to me as 'that other person' then realising how foul the behaviour is... and backward steps and trying to reverse the conversation...

well my friend, when your world next falls down - when next you're alone - when next you percieve the world is done with you - I, as usual, expect my phone to ring. and you can expect me to answer. and be there. i dont know how to do much else.

I will tell you how brilliant you are, in spite of how you treat me - how you attempt to break me - attempt to get to me. in or out of partnership you 'win'. it's inherent - you have to... its who you are. i am not a winner. not like that.

SO know, that in spite of your best attempts, to put me off side, to break my stride and to ruin me or what we've had or even do have... aren't going to work. You will need me one day, like you did on Monday. and you'll be thankful for me. As i am of you. each day.

you'll always mean a lot to me...even if i do not in kind... and that, my friend, is honestly okay.

I, thankfully, have me.

Cheers

every exploring... every expanding

One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived and I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends

One day I'll be at peace
I’ll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt

One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

One day, my mind will retreat, and I'll know god and I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure, like the women I see on their 30th anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous and torturous
But never done

One day, I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and whole

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete